I must turn Grammarly off when working on dialogue because it hates regional, and age-specific language expression. 😆
This stretch of dialogue for 4 Kings ended up crashing the program because I dismissed ALL of its suggestions. Maxim is riding the car with his mom and his brother Roman. Little brother Tomas is up front. Max hasn’t told his brother about going to another school – nor has revealed that he’s gay.
TOMAS: I wants to put Manta in their room when they go way.
ROMAN: No way, skid mark. That room’s ours in perpetuity.
TOMAS: What’s perpa-tooty?
MAX: It means forever, Tommy.
ROMAN: It lives. | MAX: I wasn’t sleeping.
ROMAN: Dude, you were snoring five minutes ago. Where’d you go last night?
MOM STARES AT MAX IN THE REARVIEW.
MAX: I went with you to Robie’s party.
ROMAN: You left early.
MAX: Who says I left early?
TOMAS: Max and mom made pizza and got brunk.
MOM: We drank some wine.
MAX: I wasn’t drunk. | ROMAN: You came home?
TOMAS: Mom got brunk.
MAX: Yeah, there were too many people there.
ROMAN: Julie McKelvey wanted you to pop her cherry.
MOM: Roman! | TOMAS: I like cherries.
ROMAN: She hooked up Bonacorsi.
MOM: Talk about something else, please.
TOMAS: Why are youns going away for Christmas?
MOM: It’s just for the weekend, Tommy. They’ll be back in time for Santa.
TOMAS: Does Santa know where dirt mouth is?
ROMAN: It’s Dartmouth, skid mark. (TO MAX) Did you get your dorm registration done? We won’t get the same room if you don’t ask for it specifically.
MOM STARES AT MAX IN THE REARVIEW, SHOCKED.
MAX: Quit nagging me, Ro.
ROMAN: Unreal. You last minute everything, dude.
TOMAS: I want to go Disney, too.
MOM: They’re not going to Disney.
TOMAS: You said they’s going to Floorda.
MOM: Florida is a big state, Tom-Tom.
ROMAN: I can’t wait. White sandy beaches and tanned tits.
MOM: Roman Matthew Pilarcik!
TOMAS: (GIGGLES) He said tits.
ROMAN PUNCHES MAX ON THE ARM.
RO: Dude, we’re going to slay. So many bitches, so little time.
TOMAS: (GIGGLES) Bitches.
MOM: Roman, you’re about to walk the rest of the way.
ROMAN: It’s right there, mom. You’re on the wrong side of the street.
MAX: It’s all one way downtown, dumbass.
TOMAS: Yeah, dummy ass.
ROMAN: We turn up here at the light.
MOM PARKS OUT IN FRONT OF THE CENTER.
MOM: Get out, Ro. I need to talk to Max.
ROMAN GETS OUT AND MAX LEANS IN BETWEEN THE DRIVER AND PASSENGER SEATS.
MOM: You better tell him what you’re doing.
MAX: I’ll get to it.
MOM: You said that in June. It’s November.
TOMAS: Yeah, it’s turkey month.
MAX: Shut it, skid mark.
MOM: Maxim Oliver, you tell him today, or I call a family meeting.
MAX: Mom!
MOM: Your dad knows about West Chester, but not the other thing. You can tell him that stuff when you’re ready, but first, Roman needs to know what time it is.
MAX GETS OUT SULKING AND FOLLOWS ROMAN INTO THE CENTER.
Guns, Guys, & Yaoi 2.0 