Majstrov: Scene Development

I’m used to planning episodes with a traditional one-hour runtime. It’s a mode that doesn’t transition smoothly to prose, and so, when outlining chapters, I tend to generalize at first and detail later as scenes become clearer to me.

  • MAJSTROV Post History
      • 1 – The idea
      • 2 – First scene cards and protags
      • 3 – The bad guys

Last week, I stopped on the development outline after Vasya and Pavel escaped during Fero’s murder. This morning, I incorporated more of what was scene card #10 into 9, realizing the dialogue made the card seem longer.

[9] Back at the cave, Vasya starts a fire with a camp-kit from the shuttle. Wisha and Goran sort through the loot: dry-packed food, hygiene kits, clothing packs, and two cases of antibiotics, bandages, and light painkillers. Something potent triggers their senses before five ‘demons’ appear at the cave’s opening.

DETAILS NOT NEEDED BUT ADDED ANYWAY: The one carrying a bow over his shoulder smirks and says: So, these are the crafty bitches that raided the flyer? The shortest, wearing a long sword at his waist, agrees: It certainly looks that way. Caught in the cave, the angels huddle together. Matej, a thick man with a dagger in his belt, smiles: I knew I smelled smoke. The bowman, Radovan, tells the two largest men, Dalibor and Pivo: Looks like those rumors about some angel cake falling from the sky are true. The two giants laugh: it’s their lucky day—since cannibals always get the angel cake. The sword-bearing man, called Ivan, muses: If not cannibals, the pod-ships land at sea far beyond their land-locked territory.

Dalibor likens Fero to a rabbit and, without preamble, drags him from the others. Pivo and Dalibor pull at his ears, legs, and arms, tearing his robes. Matej wonders if the rabbit has ‘pussy’, and when Dalibor lifts Fero and rudely displays his smooth perineum, Matej loses interest. When Fero bites Dalibor, the massive man thrusts a blade into his stomach, guts him from the crotch to rib cage. Fero dies painfully as his insides spill onto the ground. Radovan studies Fero’s remains and, noticing something of interest, reaches into the steaming innards. He pulls out a grayish ovary and wonders what it is—he’s never seen anything like it in any other disemboweled man. Vasya and Pavel eye one another again, noticing the demons gather around Fero’s body, clearing the cave’s opening. Radovan bites into the kiwi-sized organ and offers it up to Ivan, who takes a small bite and spits it out. Matej tries it and like it, then gobbles it up without offering any to Dalibor or Pivo. Goran sobs and crawls to his brother’s body. Pivo snatches him up and, holding him tight, licks his tears. Dalibor yanks at Goran’s kicking legs, also wanting a taste. When Goran begins screaming, Pavel and Vasya sprint out of the cave; Matej and Dalibor pursue, but when the angels run in opposite directions toward the forest, the men stop. (Radovan says that angel-cake is much smarter than he thought—he turns to Ivan with a smile.)

Chapter 10 becomes a textual montage of Vasya’s survival. The passage of time gets established as he survives in a wild environment. Without much dialogue, I returned to just the story beats on this card.

[10] Vasya flees to the downed shuttle and finds the attacking demons butchered and the craft stripped of its tech and parts. There are four angel-afflicted among the dead; their robes stripped and their bodies mutilated. Vasya takes their robes and comes upon a ravine with a waterfall. He ventures into a cave hidden behind the falls. He builds a fire near the falls and marks the days on the cavern rock with a flint stone. Deeper in the cave, he finds a rotting bear carcass and a sharpened metal blade stuck inside it. He wraps some bendable bark around it for a handle and, dragging the corpse out, uses the knife to remove its coat. Vasya kills a rabbit and soon grows adept at hunting squirrels. He raids bird nests for eggs, and while high in a tree, spots a stone-built house on an island. Wisha emerges from it alone and tosses feed to some penned-in chickens. Vasya returns to the cave and counts the marks on the wall; one more notch makes 83 days. Eager to collect his friend, he hikes toward the smoke and falls into a wildcat trap. He barely avoids the wooden spikes nested within it, but as he’s climbing out, a shadow appears over him. It is Matej, and he’s lucky to have found such a pretty pussy in one of his traps.

Chapter 11 shows readers that the Masters aren’t your typical demon-afflicted. Unlike other demons frothing at the mouth violently, the Masters are capable of more calculating sadism. Matej is stoic and frighteningly even-keel, and his apathetic retelling of how the others have fared almost three months under the yoke of the Master’s just hints of things to come for Vasya.

[11] Vasya wakes tied up and slung over Matej’s shoulder. After Matej tosses him onto a raft, he tries reasoning with him, but Matej’s stoic demeanor as he describes what life has been like for the others horrifies Vasya. Radovan, the bowman, caught Pavel, who repaid Rado’s kindness by trying to kill him. Sent to ‘the cutter’ Ivan for punishment, Pavel lost his hand. While recuperating, the crafty angel conviced Ivan’s pet, Wisha, to help him escape. Wisha was nice and liked Ivan very much, unlike the little Goran, who lost his mind after being tag-teamed by ‘the giants’ every night and day. Wisha betrayed Ivan, though, by helping Pavel try and escape. Ivan nearly beat Wisha to death—but he wouldn’t let Matej kill the tall skinny blond. He exiled him to an island all alone instead. Pavel lost a foot after that, and his cock, and then Ivan cut his face. They arrive on the main island, and Matej carries him many miles to a cave. Inside feels very much like a home with a hearth, animal skin rugs, and food-stores. Matej drags him farther in and drops him into a hole. He then tells someone in the darkness below to clean up his new pussy. If he does a good job cleaning him, then he can live up top again. Jan crawls naked into the light and stares up at Matej, smiling.

That’s as far as I got today since I spent the weekend preparing a chapter of Sonata 9 for a scheduled release. After lunch, I will tap out the unsavory portions of Matej’s cave of domestic horror.

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